As you might know, I’ve done seven USO tours. Four of them have taken me to Iraq, Kuwait, and Afghanistan.

When I go, I learn a little bit about the wars in those theaters, but I learn an awful lot about our troops. These men and women make tremendous sacrifices, not only in that they’re in harm’s way, but also in the amount of time they spend separated from their families – 12, 14, 16 months or more.

And their families sacrifice, too. Franni always worries when I’m in Iraq and Afghanistan, even though I’m only there for nine or ten days. And, traveling with the Sergeant Major of the Army, the USO takes pretty good care of us. Imagine the anxiety caused by having a loved one in the line of fire for a whole year.

I got a pretty stark reminder of the sacrifice made by military families when I was in Kabul. We were at Camp Phoenix, and it was the first time they’d had a big USO show there. We do a long show, and every night, it seems to get a little longer. Between the country musicians and the cheerleaders and my little comedy segments (“I gotta tell you, this Army grub doesn’t agree with me – so far, I’ve had five MREs, and none of them seem to have an exit strategy!”), our show in Kabul was about four hours long. Then we did three hours of autographs.

I should point out – it gets cold in Afghanistan. It was probably in the twenties that night. But those troops stood there for hours enjoying the show (especially the cheerleaders) and waiting to say hello to the performers (especially the cheerleaders).

Afterwards, I was exhausted and found my way to the phone room so I could call home. That’s when I noticed this sign tacked up on the wall in each cubicle – an Army chaplain’s notes for soldiers calling home.

Camp Phoenix - Kabul, Afghanistan

Good “Rules” for Phone Calls to Loved Ones
1. Always say “I Love You” to start the conversation.
2. Always explain if you are tired and annoyed - being tired and annoyed may sound like you’re angry. Your loved one needs to know you aren’t angry with them.
3. Always ask how your loved one is doing before asking about your car, motorcycle, boat or bills.
4. Always listen to your loved one’s problems before you unload yours.
5. Do not expect your family to understand your situation. We are here in Afghanistan so the war won’t ever come to America. We are here to keep them safe.
6. Do not get angry. Take a breath - chill out - start over.
7. If you need something complex done, email or mail your instructions and be patient.
8. Remind your loved one of a good memory you share and will share again.
9. Think of one thing that you appreciate about your loved one - and tell them.
10. Always say “I Love You” before you hang up.

I thought these were pretty good ideas for anybody calling home from anywhere. But while I was talking to Franni, I overheard some of the conversations going on in other cubicles.

There was a heated and heartbreaking argument between a female soldier and her husband/boyfriend/whatever back home. She had been working the show and ended up calling him later than usual. I caught one snippet where she said, “Look, I have a job and I have to do it well. I had to be there. I’m sorry I woke you up.” It made me realize how young these men and women are and how difficult these deployments can be for so many reasons. I thought back to a psychiatrist I talked to in Tikrit who told me that one of the biggest morale problems are “Dear John” letters.

Sometimes you think it’s just about being shot at or being afraid of a bomb going off. But it’s also about not seeing your kids, and dealing with the pressures on your loved ones at home.

Because of the nature of a volunteer military, our troops and their families are more isolated from the rest of us than in previous wars. I would urge all Americans to reach out to military families and let them know you support them. Through your place of worship or local veterans organizations you can find a family that could use a babysitter or a meal cooked at an opportune time. Employers need to be extra understanding, as do school counselors and teachers and clergy. And by all means, support the USO.

We have to do everything possible to support our troops and their families and honor their sacrifices.

-Al Franken

photos by Owen Franken

This entry was posted on Friday, March 23rd, 2007 at 12:35 and is filed under From Al's Desk. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.